Sensory Overload.

Have you played that game "Would you rather..." where you are given two awful choices and have to determine which you'd rather endure? Such as:

Would you rather:

a) Have a foot-long eyelash you can never pluck?
b) Or have needles for leg hair?

I had a day of disgustingness today - all related to the five senses. So tonight, I find myself asking, "If you had to choose, which of your five senses would you rather lose?" Maybe you can help. Let me describe the many layers of nastiness I was subjected to this afternoon. And ALL of this happened in a medical facility within a 2 hour time span. (Disclaimer - I'm really not the type of person easily bothered by things...today pushed my limits!)

1) Taste: I had to have the gestational diabetes screening today. That entails drinking a 10oz bottle of "gluCOLA" in a 5 minute time frame. People claim that this carbonated, flavored sugar water tastes just like orange soda. And if you know me, you know I love Fanta! But for some reason when given the choice of glucose beverage flavors, I chose Fruit Punch Flavor over Orange, Lemon Lime and Cola flavors. SICK AND NASTY. I'm more of a sipper than a chugger...so it was hard enough to have to gulp down 10oz in 5 minutes...but this drink was so wrong on so many levels. While sitting in the lab, trying to down the gluCOLA, two other things happened within direct eyesight.

2) Sight: Directly in front of me was the blood-drawing area. Something about having blood drawn just grosses me out. As if the blood p-u-l-s-i-n-g into the vial isn't nasty enough, having the vials changed while the needle remains in the sensitive inner-crook of your elbow is just wrong. Anyway, along with the story, as I was sipping my "fruit punch," a woman was having endless vials of blood drawn right in front of me. But that's just the start. Slightly to my left, a really wacky guy came in and had to pee in a cup and give blood. The bathroom in the lab was in use, so the tech sent him around the corner to pee. When he came back, he had a plastic container filled to the brim with BROWN pee. How I kept those 10oz of gluCOLA in my body and not hurled all over the floor of the lab is a miracle that I will not question. I had to leave the lab at that point.

3) Smell: For those of you who have not experienced the many joys of pregnancy, part of the regular OB appointments include providing a pee sample at every appointment. There are two bathrooms in the lobby area of my OB's office. When I went into the first one, I was almost bowled over with the scent of urine. I don't get how it is possible for someone to pee all over the seat...and moreover, decide to just leave it there rather than clean it up. Stanky to the 10th degree.

4) Touch: After the gluCOLA sits in your system for an hour, you get to have your blood drawn to test for gestational diabetes and anemia. It was my turn to watch vials of my own blood p-u-l-s-i-n-g into the little tubes. So gross. And it hurt. Ow.

5) Sound: EDIT! When I wrote this last night, I couldn't remember any offensive sounds. Obviously, I had blocked The Nail Filing Episode from my memory - and it hit me in the middle of the night. In the doctor's waiting room, there was a couple who were filing their nails with emery boards. The woman was pacing around the waiting room sawing away at her fingernails, spreading a fine dust of dead skin and keratin around the room. The man was sitting in a chair filing, and all I could imagine was a little pile of filing landing on the chair, a little gift for the next person who needed to sit there. I HATE the sound of nails being filed. Crrrrrrrk, Crrrrrrrk, Crrrrrrrk. People! GET A ROOM. Do not file your nails in public. Sick. Especially in a doctor's office. Sicker.

Ok, so the good news. Rachelle came over and brought all types of craft supplies for me to play with over the next few weeks. THANK YOU Baby Ray!!! But I can't disclose the details, because then some surprises might get ruined. Oh, and she brought me a #11. A Filet-o-Fish Value Meal!!! Jamie was horrified by this concept, but I enjoyed every bite.

And, good Grover news...Doc says Grovie is measuring just as s/he should be. After my last ultrasound, the perinatologist said to let my OB decide when to have the next ultrasound, because things were stable. I asked today and she said that she wasn't worried about me having any more ultrasounds...basically, the only treatment she can prescribe at this point is bed rest. While I will miss getting to see Grovie on a weekly basis, I will not miss my friend, The Transvaginal Probe. I'll just keep going to the OB every other Tuesday...and just hope the baby hangs out, or rather IN, until we get to full term. I take this all as good news, as home is better than hospital, and no probe is better than weekly probe!

Wow, I really need to get out of the house more often. Just a few more months and this will be a viable option. Until then, I must be prepared for my senses to be violated on my every-other-week outings.